Weekly Writing # 4

Choose and activity you engage in or a quality about yourself that you view as negative. Write a “How To” story about that activity or quality in second person using “How to Become a Writer” as a model.

250 words minimum

How to become the black sheep of the family**

For some people becoming the black sheep of the family is not a decision. It’s just something that happens because you’re too dumb to choose. Life for you simply unfolds without a pesky thought process. If that’s you, then you don’t need instructions because chances are great that you’re already in prison. Being a convicted felon is incontrovertible proof that you have attained Black Sheep First-Class status.

For the thinkers among you, becoming a black sheep is a conscious choice that requires a sense of conviction and the ability to stick to the process through thick and thin. You must also be prepared to evolve, as there will always be some other family member trying to catch up to you.

Having made this life choice, you must study because everybody hates the smartest kid in the room. Letting others know how smart you are is the next step in the right direction. How? Be sure you have a 4.0-grade point average from the word go. Every course. Every semester. Make the Dean’s List in college.

After rubbing the noses of all your siblings in your own intelligence, move on to your cousins, and, if possible, your aunts and uncles as well. This can be accomplished by bringing your trophies and diplomas to the family reunions. Tie it all up with a bow by securing a six-figure job straight after graduation.

Moving on to love and marriage: If you can manage it, have a baby out of wedlock. This is sure-fire black sheep behavior, setting you on the right road. Follow that up with a shotgun wedding. Then, be sure to be the first person in your extended family who EVER got a divorce. For good measure, follow up marriage number one with marriage number two. If you can manage it, keep the pattern going. This practice has proven to be one of the most effective ways of insuring your title of black sheep.

Your career needs to make you wealthy so that you can have the biggest house and car. Never forget the value of envy. The envy and hatred held by the other members of your family are the emotions that can cause you to catapult to the top of the Black Sheep pyramid.

To sum it up, the short cut mentioned first may seem the easy way, but without the freedom to enjoy your status. Prison life is limiting. Therefore, the suggested route is the long one. It allows you to attain Black Sheep First Class status within your family, while the rest of the world sees only success. It’s a Win/Win life path. You can do this!

**Disclaimer: These techniques are offered free of charge and the author assumes no responsibility or liability for any errors or omissions in the content. The information contained is provided on an “as is” basis with no guarantees of completeness, accuracy, usefulness or timeliness.